Chicago is the World » Justice for Trayvon, Justice for all our children

My article at Chicago is the World:

I am sitting at a beautiful airy music concert, the highlight of every summer, the Big Island Music Festival. On stage is a handsome young man, ukulele virtuoso Kris Fuchigami, with his mom playing backup on keyboard. But I cannot hear anything. The verdict comes through as I find my seat, short staccato posts on my Facebook feed, “Noooo,” “verdict fail,” “#hoodiesup.”

I wish I were surprised by the verdict, but my heart is breaking.

I am typing this out on my phone today because it could not wait.

How do we raise our sweet children of color? What do we tell them? What do we tell ourselves?

click link for rest of the article: Chicago is the World » Justice for Trayvon, Justice for all our children

On Birthday Parties, Tiger Aunties, and jailed Texan honor student Diane Tran - NAM EthnoBlog

My daughter Hao Hao turned 16 on Saturday. Sweet 16.

She put on my tiara that I wear for my most serious writing, and she asked eight-year-old Little Brother if he had anything to say to her, expecting him to say, “Happy Birthday.” Instead, he answered, “Swagger.” (Swag 16!)

The day I turned 16, I headed straight for the Department of Motor Vehicles in Gilroy after school to take my driver’s test. The Junior/Senior Prom was that weekend and I needed to be able to drive. Full of ego and optimism, I failed that driver’s test spectacularly, but I could only see as far as the Junior/Senior Prom. My date scrambled to get his old Chevy running at the last minute, so we managed to get there. Then it broke down on the side of old Monterey Highway on the way home, and my father had to rescue us. Lol.

click on link for more: On Birthday Parties, Tiger Aunties, and jailed Texan honor student Diane Tran - NAM EthnoBlog

Chicago is the World » On Birthday Parties, Tiger Aunties, and jailed Texan honor student Diane Tran

My daughter Hao Hao turned 16 on Saturday. Sweet 16.

She put on my tiara that I wear for my most serious writing, and she asked eight-year-old Little Brother if he had anything to say to her, expecting him to say, “Happy Birthday.” Instead, he answered, “Swagger.” (Swag 16!)

The day I turned 16, I headed straight for the Department of Motor Vehicles in Gilroy after school to take my driver’s test. The Junior/Senior Prom was that weekend and I needed to be able to drive. Full of ego and optimism, I failed that driver’s test spectacularly, but I could only see as far as the Junior/Senior Prom. My date scrambled to get his old Chevy running at the last minute, so we managed to get there. Then it broke down on the side of old Monterey Highway on the way home, and my father had to rescue us. Lol.

click on link for more: Chicago is the World » On Birthday Parties, Tiger Aunties, and jailed Texan honor student Diane Tran

Catalyst to Action-Happy Asian Pacific American Heritage Month and National Bike Month! - NAM EthnoBlog

How did that happen?

I thought I took precautions! I was careful!

Grrr.

Biker’s tan.

You can always spot the bicyclists by that straight white line three to four inches above their knee and little white sock line around the ankle. I have been slathering on the sunscreen every day, trying (hopelessly) to stay fair and lovely (joke), but to no use. I know once that line forms, it is almost impossible to shake. Only two weeks into May and I am already marked. Everyone can see my secret.

click on link for more: Catalyst to Action-Happy Asian Pacific American Heritage Month and National Bike Month! - NAM EthnoBlog

Chicago is the World » Catalyst to Action–Happy Asian Pacific American Heritage Month and National Bike Month!

Oh no!

How did that happen?

I thought I took precautions! I was careful!

Grrr.

Biker’s tan.

You can always spot the bicyclists by that straight white line three to four inches above their knee and little white sock line around the ankle. I have been slathering on the sunscreen every day, trying (hopelessly) to stay fair and lovely (joke), but to no use. I know once that line forms, it is almost impossible to shake. Only two weeks into May and I am already marked. Everyone can see my secret.

click on link for more: Chicago is the World » Catalyst to Action–Happy Asian Pacific American Heritage Month and National Bike Month!

Chicago is the World » El dia de nuestras madres في اليوم من أمهاتنا The Day of Our Mothers

Thanks to Chicago is the World's Stephen Franklin for this: 


"Sun’s up, blue skies.

Running out to pick up flowers on Mother’s Day and what else?

But then I’m snagged by Frances’ essay that I start and can’t s stop"


click on link for more: Chicago is the World » El dia de nuestras madres في اليوم من أمهاتنا The Day of Our Mothers

Chicago is the World » When Mother’s Day Goes Awry

Big Brother Roland called today to see what my plans were for Mother’s Day and to ask if I wanted to join him and his family in case the children were not with me this day. He is always looking out for me and invites me every year.

I declined, as always, because I will be writing (and buying an iPhone). A sudden burst of inspiration and opportunity has me writing constantly these days, even in my dreams.

However, it does feel strange to realize that this will be the first time ever that I will not be able to be with my children for Mother’s Day. Their dad wanted to take them somewhere this weekend. No, it did not make much sense to me either, but we have this fight every year.

click on link for more: Chicago is the World » When Mother’s Day Goes Awry

Choosing to defy "normal" versus excusing "unconscious racism" - NAM EthnoBlog

My fifteen-year-old daughter Hao Hao came back from school last week pretending to sniffle, “All my friends and even my teacher laughed at me.”

That was very much out of the ordinary, so I gathered her into my arms and asked, “What happened?”
She explained that they were talking about the Cold War during AP US History class, when the conversation segued to Putin and some of the things he did at the end of the Cold War.

This is when Hao Hao said, “I have a picture of Putin here in my bag,” and pulled it out to show everybody.

Instead of being appreciative of this instant handy-dandy visual aid, her friends asked, “Uhhh, why do you have a picture of Putin in your bag?”

click on link for more: Choosing to defy "normal" versus excusing "unconscious racism" - NAM EthnoBlog

How to Raise Strong and Confident Asian Pacific American Daughters | InCultureParent

An old article suddenly starting new conversations about apa girl power and leadership workshops...interested?

A few years ago, I took a seminar called, “Raising Strong and Confident Daughters.” My husband laughed at me. “Could our daughters be any stronger or more confident?” 

The class was an eye-opener for me, not just in how to raise my girls, but also in understanding my own Chinese-American childhood. I had no memory of dealing with a lot of the issues the instructor talked about as being so important to pre-adolescent girls, such as friendship and physical appearance. 

At first I thought that I must have been just so low on the social totem pole—because of race and nerdiness—that I had given up hope of competing in those arenas; I never even tried. 

Then I came across a Wellesley College study of Boston middle-school girls’ self-esteem along racial and ethnic lines and discovered that girls of different ethnic backgrounds based their sense of self-esteem on different factors. It found that the Caucasian girls were obsessed with dieting and body image, the Puerto Rican girls were very attached to their friendships, and the Chinese girls based their self-esteem on how well they spoke English. I started noticing in the media and in casual conversations that Caucasian women cannot talk for more than five minutes without making some self-deprecating comment about their appearance or weight. The Chinese women I know do not talk weight or appearance, except in the context of health, as in, “You’ve lost a lot of weight, have you been sick?” So it wasn’t me, it was a cultural thing.

click on link for more: How to Raise Strong and Confident Asian Pacific American Daughters | InCultureParent

Chicago is the World » Helping Asian American girls and women navigate a crossroads of stereotypes and expectations

My twelve-year-old daughter was recently backed up against a wall at school by someone much taller and heavier than her—that classic pose with one hand against the wall behind her head, body leaning into her as he talked, running his other hand through his hair, acting so cool. She did not feel like she was in any danger, but she did not like the feeling of being trapped there.

So back home in the safety of our kitchen, we practiced different strategies for what she could do if it ever happened again. She could push him back with two hands. She could casually take one step away from the wall. She could even point, “Look, over there!” She does not need to make a big deal out of it, but practicing these small adjustments empowers her to discretely shift control of the situation.

I shared this story with the very cool Lisa Lee, former publisher of Hyphen Magazine and a co-founder of ThickDumplingSkin.com. She works with young Asian Americans on issues of body image and self-esteem. I peppered her with awkward and inappropriate questions. Together we worried about young women finding themselves, staying safe, having fun, demanding to be treated with respect, and cultivating their characters. It is not easy, especially with all the different messages they get. There is a fine line between sexy and slutty, free-spirited and cheap, nice and taken advantage of. We like to think we can navigate that line with spirit and style, but as this perfectly titled article in Jezebel says, “People Are Terrible, So Stop Putting Your Boobs on the Internet.”

click here for more: http://chicagoistheworld.org/2012/04/helping-asian-american-girls-and-women-navigate-a-crossroads-of-stereotypes-and-expectations/

Lessons I do not want to teach my children–about Dharun Ravi, Trayvon Martin, Shaima Alawadi | InCultureParent

After Indian American Rutgers student Dharun Ravi was convicted of bias intimidation, I sent the very long New Yorker article about the case to my teenagers so that they can understand what kind of digital footprint they leave whenever they do anything online, and to remind them that regardless of what they might actually be doing, they need to be aware that sometimes those actions may be perceived quite differently by others, including people who do not understand technology and culture, including people with power.

Although I agree that homophobic bullying should not be tolerated, because of the technical complexity of this case, I cannot shake the nagging feeling that had Dharun Ravi been white, or if Tyler Clementi had been a person of color, this case might never have been prosecuted, and certainly would not have been punished so harshly (Ravi faces a possible sentence of ten years and deportation). Ravi admits to being a jerk, but there have been too many other cases in which white bullies have gotten away with much worse. Harry Lew.Danny Chen. Phoebe Prince. Vincent Chin. Luis Ramirez. Trayvon Martin.

My heart breaks as I read articles by African American mothers about the rules they make for their children because they know how easily their children could be Trayvon Martin:

click on link for more Lessons I do not want to teach my children–about Dharun Ravi, Trayvon Martin, Shaima Alawadi | InCultureParent

Lessons I do not want to teach my children–about Dharun Ravi, Trayvon Martin, Shaima Alawadi, Vincent Chin | Chicago is the World

After Indian American Rutgers student Dharun Ravi was convicted of bias intimidation, I sent the very long New Yorker article about the case to my teenagers so that they can understand what kind of digital footprint they leave whenever they do anything online, and to remind them that regardless of what they might actually be doing, they need to be aware that sometimes those actions may be perceived quite differently by others, including people who do not understand technology and culture, including people with power.

Although I agree that homophobic bullying should not be tolerated, because of the technical complexity of this case, I cannot shake the nagging feeling that had Dharun Ravi been white, or if Tyler Clementi had been a person of color, this case might never have been prosecuted, and certainly would not have been punished so harshly (Ravi faces a possible sentence of ten years and deportation). Ravi admits to being a jerk, but there have been too many other cases in which white bullies have gotten away with much worse. Harry Lew. Danny Chen. Phoebe Prince. Vincent Chin. Luis Ramirez. Trayvon Martin.

My heart breaks as I read articles by African American mothers about the rules they make for their children because they know how easily their children could be Trayvon Martin:

click here for more: http://chicagoistheworld.org/2012/03/lessons-i-do-not-want-to-teach-my-children-about-dharun-ravi-trayvon-martin-shaima-alawadi/

What our children and their books could teach Rush Limbaugh and friends - NAM EthnoBlog

A few weeks ago, in the midst of Linsanity and some of its racist reactions, journalist Grace Hwang of Hapamama.com asked if I thought racism was taken more seriously than sexism.

I was still thinking about how best to answer her when Rush Limbaugh spent three days vomiting all over Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke.

Well, I guess there was my answer.

click here for more: What our children and their books could teach Rush Limbaugh and friends - NAM EthnoBlog

What our children and their books could teach Rush Limbaugh and friends | Chicagoistheworld.org

A few weeks ago, in the midst of Linsanity and some of its racist reactions, journalist Grace Hwang of Hapamama.com asked if I thought racism was taken more seriously than sexism.

I was still thinking about how best to answer her when Rush Limbaugh spent three days vomiting all over Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke.

Well, I guess there was my answer.

Some of the racist taunts that hit Jeremy Lin might possibly be able to be explained as accidental, insensitivity, ignorance, (barely), but Limbaugh’s incredible remarks (coupled with all the transvaginal ultrasound legislation by white male congressmen and the all-male testimony on birth control that brought about Limbaugh’s remarks in the first place) left me sputtering.

What is wrong with these people?

click link for more: http://chicagoistheworld.org/2012/03/what-our-children-and-their-books-could-teach-rush-limbaugh-and-friends/

March is National Reading Month!

What are you reading today?

Linsanity’s Impact on My Son | InCultureParent

Third time's a charm!

I missed the first week of Linsanity because I was caught up in fighting the racist China-fear-mongering Pete Hoekstra political ad that aired during the Superbowl. I remember feeling beleaguered at the time, like we still had a looooong way to go until the elections in November, and if this was just the beginning…

I was surprised to learn that the mainstream considered Jeremy Lin an unknown who had come from out of nowhere, because even though I know nothing about sports, even I knew who Jeremy Lin was (courtesy of Ryan Higa and Kev Jumba).

click here for more: Linsanity’s Impact on My Son | InCultureParent

Linsanity-a hero for Little Brother - NAM EthnoBlog

I missed the first week of Linsanity because I was caught up in fighting the racist China-fear-mongering Pete Hoekstra political adthat aired during the Superbowl. I remember feeling beleaguered at the time, like we still had a looooong way to go until the elections in November, and if this was just the beginning…

I was surprised to learn that the mainstream considered Jeremy Lin an unknown who had come from out of nowhere, because even though I know nothing about sports, even I knew who Jeremy Lin was (courtesy of Ryan Higa and Kev Jumba).

click here for more: Linsanity-a hero for Little Brother - NAM EthnoBlog

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Chicago is the World » Linsanity–a hero for Little Brother

I missed the first week of Linsanity because I was caught up in fighting the racist China-fear-mongering Pete Hoekstra political ad that aired during the Superbowl. I remember feeling beleaguered at the time, like we still had a looooong way to go until the elections in November, and if this was just the beginning…

I was surprised to learn that the mainstream considered Jeremy Lin an unknown who had come from out of nowhere, because even though I know nothing about sports, even I knew who Jeremy Lin was (courtesy of Ryan Higa and Kev Jumba).

As I got caught up in Linsanity along with everyone else, I found myself talking about Jeremy Lin with my Chinese language class, my Critical Race theory class, my Asian Pacific American History class, even at a career talk for Chinese American high school students. I finally had something to say to the little boy next door who spends his afternoons shooting hoops on the corner. Jeremy Lin applied to everything, everywhere, in equal parts good and bad, and for once, everyone—Asian American or not—was in agreement.

Then I realized the person who needed Jeremy Lin the most was my eight-year-old son, Little Brother.

click here for more: Chicago is the World » Linsanity–a hero for Little Brother

Chicago is the World » We gain so much wading in the water of each other’s cultural experiences–Adventures in Multicultural Living

Two years ago, my father’s choir at the University of Hawaii was invited to sing at a big international diversity concert at Lincoln Center in New York for MLK Day. Choirs from around the world had been invited to sing together, and a Hawaiian choir adds instant diversity with its multicultural population of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino, Portuguese, Caucasians and native Hawaiians. That summer, over a breakfast of Chinese pancakes and Portuguese sausage, my father told us about the difficulties he had had the night before at choir practice pronouncing the words in the spirituals that they were learning, “You have to say the words like a Negro,” he said.

Twelve-year-old Hao Hao gently corrected him: “African American. These days you should say African American.” (I bet Senator Reid wishes his grandchildren had told him this, too.)

click on link for more: Chicago is the World » We gain so much wading in the water of each other’s cultural experiences–Adventures in Multicultural Living

Oh! Oshogatsu! Missing Japanese New Year’s Day–Adventures in Multicultural Living | Articles | Discover Nikkei

Thanks to Discovernikkei.org for reprinting this Oshogatsu article!

The doorbell rings. The dog barks. I turn on the porch light, open the front door, and…

No one is there. Then I look down. A package!

Ooh, I was not expecting any more Christmas presents. I bend down to pick it up, and I hear the unmistakable sound of …

Rice.

A box of rice. A very big box of rice. Who would ship me a very big box of rice?

click on link for more: Oh! Oshogatsu! Missing Japanese New Year’s Day–Adventures in Multicultural Living | Articles | Discover Nikkei